The fat little dragon scratched behind its ear and gave a big yawn. Fred had never liked working but had become a tad bored doing nothing for so long. If you yourself were to see him, you would not think him very little. He stood half the size of the mountain! Next to another dragon, however, he did seem very small indeed – rarely reaching their bellybutton, which anyone who has seen a dragon can tell you is positioned on their underbelly. But whatever Fred lacked in height he more than made up for in width. He rarely left his mountain or exercised, but feasted on who and whatever dared to come close enough for him to grab and gobble up. All of this had made him quite a fat little dragon.

Fred lived in a nice big mountain which he had carefully filled with gold over the past hundred years. Many foolish knights had attempted to fight Fred and win back the mountain, or the gold. They were rarely really interested in the mountain or the gold, but rather the hand of a beautiful princess or other. As they’d ventured into his home, they’d inevitably find themselves in front of a great green wall. Unfortunately, before they realised this was actually the dragon’s great big wide belly, Fred was already pulling the pieces of armour from between his teeth.

It had been a while since any foolish knight had come near him and Fred had had to make do with bats, deer, bears and other animals near the entrance of the mountain. There was little game in these meals. They rarely shouted, screamed or begged. Counting gold had also lost its appeal as he had established, without fail, the great size of his fortune 65.438 times already. There were four times he had miscalculated it, only to find one or two little coins hiding underneath his foot or in his armpit. While he could hardly think of being away from his precious gold, and despised the thought of moving, he was starting to feel the itchings of Excitement and Adventure.

Stretching his limbs, Fred wandered towards the entrance of the mountain. Having stayed inside the heart of the mountain for such a long time, growing ever bigger and fatter, it took some effort to squeeze his way out the main opening. He managed, eventually, and breathed in some fresh air. It was hardly as nice as breathing in the stale smell of his gold at home, but it seemed to do his body some good, anyway. He strolled down the mountainside into the forest. There was a cheerful stream he began to follow. A little while later, the stream grew wider and Fred sat himself down for a bit of rest and a drink. The warm sun and easy breeze had a very soothing effect on him. Making himself comfortable against a very old tree that creaked and moaned under the weight, he quickly drifted off to sleep.

The Ancient Tree had stood there for the good part of a millennium and had enough of people chopping of its branches for firewood, or young knights using its stem as target practice for swords or arrows. It had seen the world change while Fred had been hiding inside his mountain. Knights had become a dying race. They now preferred to read and study about Great Deeds and the magic accomplishments of those who came before, instead of going out on adventure themselves. They now used big words to get the attention of a handsome princess or other. Seeing the changing of the world, the Ancient Tree decided it was time for the green sapling that had begun to grow next to it to take its place. Thus, the Ancient Tree was getting ready to go into a hibernation it would not wake up from and the low and steady grumble of Fred’s snores easily helped it lull into a doze. It started letting go of the fresh leaves and dreamt of lazy afternoons in which it had swayed from left to right with a small, soft figure at its base.

Eventually the sunlight grew colder and a loud grumble his tummy woke Fred up. He sneezed and blinked a few times. It took him a few of tries to remember where he was or how he’d got there. The sleep outside had done him very well though – he felt much refreshed and longed to go back to his gold and his own mountain. He brushed away some fallen leaves and looked left. Then he looked right. Then he turned around and looked left again. Then once more to the right. Eventually he sat down and scratched his tummy in confusion. From where he sat, Fred could see two mountains peaking out from above the trees. The mountain to his right was pointy with a small tip of white. The one to his left looked like it had been smashed with a big hammer and looked quite as squashed. Unfortunately, he’d never paid any attention to what his home looked like from the outside. And the last time he’d seen it was when he had made it his home, over a century ago! He had quite forgotten whether his mountain, filled with his precious gold, was to the left or right. Making the right decision was very important: if he took a wrong turn, it would take him a lot longer to return home for Fred moved very slow – for a dragon, that is. He could hardly wait to see, smell, and feel his gold again, thinking about the way it tickled between his toes as he swam across it. It must be quite lonely without him in that dark and empty mountain.

Fred turned around again. Now the pointy mountain was on his left, and the squashed mountain was on his right. Just then a knight on his horse walked from underneath the trees and stopped in front of Fred.

“Now this is odd. I don’t recall passing this green wall when I came through here but yesterday.”

“I am no wall,” said Fred from above, startling and frightening the knight greatly. He was never meant for Great Deeds and shivered quite a bit at the sight of a big dragon, making his armour clatter with his fear.

He did not know Fred was just a little dragon. The only reason for him to wander around in armour on a horse was because his father still believed Great Deeds were the only real proof of true bravery for knights. The Frightened Knight himself would much rather have studied Great Deeds and learned big words to describe them. He shook at the thought of dragons and witches and other such dangerous creatures. It was a good thing, therefore, he was not faced with a normal sized dragon, which would have had him fainting in an instant.

Fred was grateful the Frightened Knight hadn’t blacked out – though the shivering creature still looked a little pale. Our fat little dragon would have eaten him as soon as the Frightened Knight had appeared, fainting or not, if it wasn’t for the help he was in desperate need of.

“D-d-dear Lord, you are a-a-a-…” the Frightened Knight stammered. Fred raised his eyebrow, patiently waiting for the man to finish his thought.

“I-i-if I am n-n-not mis-m-mistaken,” the knight stumbled on. Fred narrowed his eyes in confusion and listened expectantly.

“A… a… D-D-DRAGON!”

Fred smiled in satisfaction.

“Indeed, and I shall eat thee in the whole and in an instance if thou wilt not aid me,” naturally, this had the Knight shake more violently, making its armour clatter and rattle as if it were a tambourine.

“P-p-pray what help w-w-would you NEED?!” the last word had been a muffled shriek as the knight’s visor came down with a clank. Fred cocked his eyebrow but continued as the Frightened Knight opened his visor.

“I am lost. My mountain of gold is either of the two I can see from here. Tell me which it is, and I shall let thee go unharmed and unscathed.”

To this the knight’s eyes grew twice their size and filled with hope. He took off his helmet and jumped off his horse. Any sensible knight would have done neither in the face of a dragon and the horse bolted immediately, for it would not trust a dragon no matter what it said or promised.

“In my mountain is a fortune of which I know the exact number and I long to be reunited with it.”

“B-b-but then I cannot help you!” the knight replied, now with tears forming in his eyes and a fallen face. “For both contain a fortune and I know not the count of either!”

While it irked Fred he was no step closer to his own gold, the sound of MORE gold also sounded appealing. Most mountains containing gold, however, were guarded by dragons – normal sized dragons. Fat little Fred had no intention of a fight with any of them. Normal sized dragons were not only taller and stronger they also loved the theatrics of a duel, making dragon fights very long and tedious affairs.

“I say, this other mountain that is not mine, it is guarded by dragon?”

“Not at all! Everyone knows it is but the Squashed Mountain that holds the dragon, Peak has always been clear of such dangers,” the Frightened Knight sighed defeated and sank to the ground, for his knees had quite lost their strength with all this talking to a dragon business. “Knights never return from Peak, simply because there is too much gold and they become too greedy. With no means to carry it all out at once, they’d rather stay there and die happy and rich and alone.”

He put a hand under his chin feeling bleak with the anticipation to be eaten. Until he realised and cried aloud: “But you are the dragon of the Squashed Mountain!”

Fred had already realised this and was lost in thought. The additional gold would benefit his mountain and his treasure. But he still despised the exercise and saw no means to move the gold in Peak to join his fortune in Squashed Mountain if the treasure was truly of such a size.

“Art thou greedy for gold?” he asked the knight eventually. The knight had calmed down knowing he had helped the dragon and might not be eaten.

“Oh no! I care not for gold, nor even Great Deeds. I but like the big words and Princess Emily. It is my father who wished me to be a knight. If it were up to me, I’d be a poor poet. I cannot be so until I have proven my bravery to my father.”

“Then, if thou were faced with all the gold in Peak, thou would not take a nickel?”

“Indeed not.”

“How must thou prove thy bravery to thy father?”

“I must slay a dragon, a witch or another such dangerous creature and bring him proof of the matter.”

“What is such proof?” asked Fred. He had, by now, made a plan in which both he and the Frightened Knight might have a happy ending. Dragons are greedy and will eat you without a second of a thought. Yet, they are fair beasts, when situations call for judgement. A quality often over-looked by us lesser animals. Fred, therefore, would not eat the Knight after learning which mountain was his home and, if there was a way in which the tiny human might be convinced to help him, Fred would make sure he was rewarded appropriately. “A piece of the dragon, the witch or other such dangerous creature – or the fortune which they guard.”

“In that case, I have an offer to make thee. A deal, if thou wilt, in which we both may gain something.” To this the knight was all ears as Fred explained his little plan.

The knight was to move the fortune of Peak over to Squashed Mountain. At the end, he would be richly rewarded for his efforts by gold – Fred knew humans required relatively very little gold to be very happy and there were always some pieces of lesser quality within any fortune that would put a smile on even the richest man – and one of Fred’s dragon’s scale. Should the knight leave the deal, however, Fred threatened not only to eat the frightened Knight but also the King,… and Princess Emily!

The Knight had quite an ear for this: a chance to prove his bravery with very little bravery at all! They shook hands and Frightened Knight went straight to look for his horse while Fred leisurely strolled back to his Squashed Mountain, now that he knew it was, indeed, his. Night had fallen, but the moon was up, and the stars were out. It was a pleasant walk back home and Fred felt quite satisfied with his little Adventure that had earned him quite a lot more gold. He’d also had quite enough Excitement to last him quite a long while, and he squeezed back inside through the main opening. In the heart of the mountain, he set to counting his fortune for the 65.439th time before closing his eyes once more. By morning, the low, rumbling noise of his snores could be heard.

The task Fred had put the Frightened Knight up to was by no means a trivial one. He first ordered the building of a ship, capable of going up and down the stream between the mountains and holding enormous amounts of gold at a time. Once the ship was finished, he set work, filling the ship to the brim with gold and sailing it to the other mountain where he would empty the ship again. He could not call in the help of anyone, as the sight of the fortune Peak held might tempt them. Besides, he could not risk anyone knowing about his deal with Fred to prove his bravery. Instead, the knight worked long days to fill the whole ship by himself, sailing it across and unloading the gold at Squashed Mountain under the watchful eye of Fed.

Weeks went by…

Months went by…

Indeed, even years went by…

It took the Frightened Knight sixteen and a half years to finish the job. During this time, he had grown tall and strong through the labour. He had become brave through the talks he shared with Fred. The dragon had explained to him the best ways to deal with dragons, witches and other such dangerous creatures so that, if faced with one, the Knight needn’t be scared any more. Fred had told him about mistakes of other knights and the ways of the forest. They had spent long nights feasting on ale and good food, prepared by the Knight who could not eat raw food like Fred but did not mind sharing his meals with good friends.

When sixteen and a half years had passed by, the Knight was quite ready to settle down as a poet with his princess. He had learned enough about Great Deeds that it required no more studies on his part. Fred, as promised, gave him one of his own old dragon scales he had laying around. He also handed him a fine piece of gold of good quality, for he had grown fond of the Frightened Knight and only ever wished the best for his friends. They parted on good terms, with the promise of regular visits by the Knight.

With his grown pile of gold all gathered together, Fred set to counting his new fortune for the very first time. He would continue counting until he was sure he knew every piece and every part, and until he was sure exactly how much of it there was. With such a collection, however, it is even more difficult to not overlook one underneath your foot or hiding in your armpit. It took Fred centuries to master, from what I have heard. He could still be counting, for all I know. We lost track of the doings of dragons so long ago and do not know where they are. Perhaps by now Fred moved to another mountain, or gained another fortune to his collection, which would set him off to counting anew.

The Frightened Knight returned home a brave man with a fortune. Princess Emily was no longer a princess, however. Her people had overthrown her father, the King, and replaced him with another. She had married a poor nobleman and spent her days loudly complaining to anyone who would listen about her husband, the small size of their castle, the colour of her dresses, and even the number of pets they owned. Fortunately for everyone else, very few people ever listened.

The new king had an even prettier daughter, Princess Elise. She was eloquent and cared nothing for being rich, or being a princess. She loved great adventures and was a wife very much suited to a poet. The knight’s own father had died and nothing stood now in his way to become a poet and be happily married (though poor, he was no longer). He did often go to see Fred and they still had long talks. Until the journey became too demanding for the old knight. He came up to the mountain only one last time, to die a happy, and very rich man.

After which Fred ate him, for Fred hated wasting things.